According to Fray: bathing suits as shorts

8 Jul

No. Just no.

I don’t think it’s even remotely necessary to say more, nor do I understand how this phenomenon is even legal, but I digress. Where in east Jesus was a law passed that made wearing polyamide netted SWIMMING apparel as an actual ‘bottom’ allowable.

The name says it all boys. BATHING suit. You are meant to wear them, alas, to BATHE. Not only is participating in this sad trend an eye sore, and just plain moronic, the look screams 450 (for those non-Montrealers out there, is an unfortunate area code defined by bad style, bad restaurants, and  bad accents).

The netted spandex lining must be quite something with boxers on. When there is already a pre-sewn undergarment in your clothing, I think this fares as a clear indication that your choice of bottom today should NOT in fact reek of chlorine, but should most likely be from a store that does not also sell pool noodles and flippers. Just a thought (matching is also not allowed).

Be smart boys- when it’s hot out, wear shorts, unless you are actually going swimming. And if you do enjoy wearing Hawaiian flower printed polyamide on a daily basis, that is a personal issue best left to the help of dedicated professionals…or the Mayor of Malibu.

The street ain’t the beach kids. And please refrain from wearing skater shoes with this ungodly trend. One, you look like you have a dingy laced to your foot, and two, are you skating or are you going for a dip? Or both? I repeat: the theme screams schizophrenia. Probably best left to the unfortunate children out-of-area.

I’m not harsh, I’m simply conveying what every girl and well-fashioned male out there thinks when he sees you prancing down Sainte-Catherine looking like a damn Billabong ad. We’ve quite frankly seen enough.

Gone tanning,

Fray

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One Response to “According to Fray: bathing suits as shorts”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. According to Fray: Lacoste « Renascence - July 8, 2011

    […] Lacoste went from tennis wear, to Jappy Prep, to the discount bins at a 450 store (which these ‘bathing suits as shorts boys’ love to pair with their O’Neil suits). Unless you’re on the court at Wimbledon, please […]

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